Time to…..go.

The last couple of days since my last post a lot of things have happened.  Time has transpired and now I find myself in the calm before the storm..viewing life from the event horizon before the point of no return.  I feel depressed.  I feel frightened.  I feel alone.  Tired.  Excited.  Wary.  

 I worry about my mom, who now sits beside me cleaning my clothes with the dust, lint remover, herself anxious knowing that her son is soon to be departed to another land.  Her cumbersome conversation is a testament to her anxiety, her postponement of the inevitable.  I feel guilty that I write this post and cannot ease her tension that cannot be eased.

What can I say?  I put myself in this position..and at moments I cannot remember why.  What is the purpose for this journey?  What is it that I will gain?  Learning about myself, testing my limits, living on my own and hopefully surviving all the while gaining wisdom.  This is the purpose of life right? 

It is now 2:16AM Eastern Standard Time, and I glance at the small digital display at the bottom right of my screen as if it was alive..  A force of enormous power and immovability that slowly grasps at my life… beckoning me to the unknown..  menacing without compassion.  It eats away at all that I know to be, in such an easy fashion that it must be evil to cause such grief without any remorse.  It is now my enemy.  Soon I know that I will again learn to love this thing, but now only it separates me from the uncharted abyss.   Tomorrow is a new day.  Tomorrow I will be on an airplane, in a place I have never been before, seeing sights never seen.  I will perhaps forget about this worry, but I will remember the struggle to get here.  I will never forget the sacrifice and love of those who cared enough to even say goodbye, true friends are so far and few in between.

The next post I write, I will be thousands of miles distant from this very place I now sit.  I will have entered a new world, culture, without the support of the people most precious to me.  My beautiful girlfriend, wonderful parents, endearing friends.  I would not be writing this now if not for my Hyo.  She has been so understanding and such a blessing to me with her patience and wisdom.  For her I owe much.  If you are reading this Hyo..don’t forget the 3 date rule.  I will remember our promises and your great love.  Thankyou.  She is the reason why I started this blog, and I pray that the good Lord above will continue to watch over and bless this relationship.  Words cannot capture the essence of what life is like an affectionate embrace can. 

Well..here is to life..and to journeys.  I will see you guys later, and in another world.  

 HERE WE GO!!! HUITING!!!!!!!  AJJAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  Goodnight.  Nae Epoun Sae.

Too late for procrastination

Every morning for the past couple of weeks ive been waking up with a lot of stress.  There is just so much left to do that i have yet to accomplish.  Here, the list goes like this:

-turn in all paperwork for visa application

-drive to DC to pick up visa once completed(takes about a week)

-get dentist work done on tooth number 14

-have professors sign off on classes available to register for in Yonsei

-buy luggage bags, pre-departure stuff

-adequately research food and finance so i wont starve to death in korea

-and others…

I feel that if I dont get this stuff done soon, then my experience overseas will be limited and I will only disastrously carry this stress with me.  Sometimes i feel like screaming and crying at the same time, yet this is a part of being a responsible adult, taking care of your business.  Still, it would be so nice to have someone who could help me. Wishful thinking.

Time for intros

Where should I start.  Once again, I venture into the world of blogging, as many of my generation are now doing.  What can I say? Well…for starters, as the title implies, my name is Ken, and deceitfully, I am not in Korea as of yet.  However, soon this will change.  I will depart the United States of America, the home of the free, the land of opportunity, the great land of milk and honey to venture to a place as foreign to me as the moon.  This will happen on the 24th of February 2008.  Why am I writing now?  Why not? I figure, to have a solid documentation of your experiences is something that will one day be of great value to me, and possibly to others.  Today is now the 9th of February, and the days endlessly transpire as my life will one day expend.  To look back over the countless days and have a recollect of my life, my journeys and experiences and see the growth in wisdom and knowledge, and from where I have indeed increased in wisdom…priceless.  I will study at Yonsei university, a university that really has little meaning for me at this particular moment, however, was chosen for its national prestige and the encompassing life that will be inherited in living/studying in Seoul, among my mother’s countrymen.  I currently major in International Studies/International Business, and will also take Korean language courses to supplement my study.  Nevertheless, the lessons of living on my own, and confronting the challenges of being independent and self-sufficient are the real classes I will be taking.  From not fitting in physically, culturally, and earnestly reflecting to the core of who i am and my weakness as an individual and the obstacles that will seem daunting..how I choose to overcome, or fail to do so will determine a lot in my introspection. 

A little off the subject now.  Barack O’Bama, as my girlfriend has just told me, will be speaking Va Beach tomorrow.  I really like Barack and he will probably have my vote.  Me and Barack share a few things in common, in being somewhat anti-affluent in our upbringings, yet having the determination to succeed in life in a mannerism that is not hostile in clawing tooth and nail to the top, contrarily having compassion and serving others in the journey.