One: by Epik High

Korea recap part deuce

I have been pretty unbelievably sick these past couple of days.  I was so sick I couldnt make it to work in Pucheon this Saturday or Wednesday, instead chillin with a few close friends who attended to me.^^  I really love Korea.  I love it so much that I really dont want to return to the states.  The only reason why i will do so.. is for my mom.  Spending quality time with her since she is sick is more important than all of the wonderful people I have met here, as well as every connection and tie I have so endearingly made.  What day is today.. Monday.  ..Tuesday morning actually.  Finals are coming soon..  Interestingly.. my morning was a bit awkward , but I write this down for future reference.

Life is really good..  I have so much passion and I really enjoy being alive.  Every day is a new challenge, new things to do.. new people to meet.. connections and conversations with interesting people.  It’s funny, but everyone here knows all of my problems..and they are funny with the advice.  But in all respects I love it.  I have some haters here as well.. it seems.   Whenever you rise to the top..people get envious.  But I love everyone.. and as long as no lines are crossed everything is all good.  Group projects, presentations, homework, friends, traveling, studying, living for God, while being distracted by crazy alcoholic girls..and guys.. with some chill friends who are smart and down to earth.  That’s my life.  But.. one thing has bothered me.. it seems the Korean American girls are either straight up Christian.. or straight up… not good.  I havent really seen any who are just chill.. and thats kind of disturbing.   Im not going into the “interesting” details.. but I have really learned a lot.

Ito Yuna: “Endless Story”

words cannot express.. one of the very few that can…

way too sentimental..but one of my favs.

unknown author: something I found written a while ago.. one of my favorites.

my dear sweet love
now you are asleep and i hear the steady gasp of your breath..the pitter patter of the phone clattering against your cheeks.

i am so sad now..this night has taken its toll on me as i ponder life. and the beautiful person to now whom i write.

i cannot express to you my heart, the great burden i carry, but i feel happy to have you to express myself..as you slumber in peaceful thought.
i wonder now…can you sense this emotion i now feel.. now as you rest and life is so distant, can your unconscious mind touch my heart and share my love.
my dear sweet love..life is so short and fleeting, and the memories we create today are swept away in the rapid current of time..fleeting to the riverbanks of distant memory. as you slumber in content, every breath you take an affront to death lingering..so distant and near, testing your ramparts but never defeated.

my dear sweet love..if only you knew how I feel. how my heart pounds with wondrous excitement with the radiant possibility of tomorrow..only to be drug down deeper and farther with the nasty talons of life’s woes..embedded so near my soul.
time seeping like sand through my grasp..lost to eternity.

my dear darling love..i cannot promise you tomorrow..i cannot promise you a lifetime of endearing moments and uncompromised love. i cannot promise you fame or fortune..or the benefits of lavish lifestyles documented and well recorded. i give you my heart, my trust, my kiss, my touch, my grasp and my laughter, my hopes and dreams and doubts and worries. i give you my pain and sorrow, joy and smile. Give me your heart, and i will love it with my own, and never abondon, or forsake the love you so lovingly have bestowed upon me.

i am not the same person i was yesterday, and tonight i will again grow.

alone in despair but never truly alone.. my heart reaches for yours as you softly..breath. sweet dreams my lovely sweet darling love.

i will be with you soon.

Korea recap

a friend of mine asked me to continue writing.. so this is for you.. i will continue to do so.. at least try.. until I arrive in America.

yea…

its May now and I think back over the past few months and I am amazed. So much time has passed and so much has happened. From struggle to triumph I have grown as a person and life has a new feel. I have learned much. About myself.. my country.. people from all nations and ethnicities around the world. Meeting the smartest, brightest from the United States, Korea, Russia, Japan, Singapore, United Kingdoms, China.. has taught me new perspectives and ideas. Looking back.. I remember profound dialogues with Christians, Muslims, aetheists, agnostics, party-seekers, buddhists, shintoists.. on and on.

Now, I can still see the distant horizon on mountain tops with the sun rising in the distance, ourselves thousands of miles above the earth with friends gazing on the beauty and wonder of God’s creation. In the most despairing times in my life.. I have felt the touch of God’s love. A touch so powerful and intimate that I had no choice but to acknowledge his wonder and beauty humbly falling to my knees in awe. In my memory, I have seen so many amazing sights remaining etched like dark and light shades imprinted on film carved into my brain. Struggles and hardships I have overcome.. reconnecting with what is most important in my life that I have been… missing. Yes indeed. . . I have shed tears with burdensome pain in the quiet of the night, with no comforting hand to ease my suffering. Indeed, I have laughed hysterically at the strangest/funniest people not conforming to the social norms that society has labeled our generation with. Indeed, I have been hurt intimately, silently in my innermost thoughts and turmoils questioning and in doubt. I have questioned critically and found answers through the subltleness of life in the quiet that is revealed to the eye in tune with God.

I have been in fights/matches using every ounce of strength effort and skill to get the W.. football games..jiu jitsu tournaments.. even playing drums for the praise band.. For the Yonsei Eagles Football team I play wide reciever and kick returner. Every Saturday and Sunday we played, and I was chosen for my speed to return against the best Universities in Korea. . . I remember vividly being almost knocked unconscious during one return..

…following my leads.. I run full speed at a hole in the defense. Quite suddenly, a green jersey appears from my peripheral…unfortunate for me..having a split second to prepare for the immediate impact pursuing. Turning to face the hit..In vivid detail I remember his face.. the strain and intensity..perhaps fear in his eyes as his helmet leveled on my abdomen squeezing all of the air from my lungs and upper torso. The world spinning around me and the sky changing to different hues of Blue and purple. . I can still smell and taste the blood in my nose and mouth.. the bitterness as I coughed gasping for air..but still. I took the best hits they gave me that day and even gave a few in return..walking off the field with the respect that I deserved. That’s all that matters.

And finally.. and again..I have met amazing people. Smart, talented, beautiful, compassionate, loving, considerate.

I have had many options to choose girls here.. and I can also say that I have made the best decisions for myself in all of these choices. Unfortunately, Korea is known for its weak standards, and me being an American I have encountered many strange situations. I have never been pursued so ardently in my life as I have been here..even having the opportunity to date a Pop Singer and different women from all over the world. But I found that none of them had the qualities that I truly desired in a woman except for one.. and she is a girl that will indeed make a man happy one day.

In recap.. I still have a month left.

I still have things to do..

Places to travel..

tears to shed.

Smiles to share.

and heartbreaking goodbyes to prepare for.

I guess a month can be a lifetime for many. For me.. it is the time of a life.

peace.

Big Bang: “lies”..

saw Big Bang live in Korea.. his best song holla.